1 week till Rory's feeding clinic appt!!!

I'm very excited. Weird, I know. I know they will not be watching her eat at this appointment, but I'm really hoping that they will acknowledge that she does have feeding problems. The hardest part about this struggle has been the self-doubt, probably brought on by her laid-back GP and pediatrician. When I question myself, I tell myself things like:

She has never eaten a whole jar of baby food.
She has never eaten more than 3 kinds of baby food.
She doesn't eat toast or bread.
She doesn't eat fruit of any kind.
She doesn't eat cereal.
She doesn't eat real meat.
She won't let me feed her.
She won't hold her own bottle.
She won't drink juice.

The list goes on and on in my head. I just want them to help me find ways to meet her caloric needs with food so that we don't have to rely so heavily on formula. I just want them to evaluate her to rule out other problems she might have that I may not have seen or known about. I just want them to tell me I'm not crazy and that there are better ways of doing things.

I seriously hate hate hate feeling so incompetent. It makes sense, though, why I would feel this way. It's always been a struggle and I don't think I've built the confidence that comes along with being able to acknowledge a need (hunger) in your child and then taking care of that need.

And if they think Rory is just picky and there is no problem, we will push on as we have done her whole life. I will cry crocodile tears and keep researching and trying my best.

She is pure joy. Outside of eating, she is not a difficult baby. She is always happy, very smart and loving. I thank God for her every day. I just want her to enjoy fresh strawberries and whipped cream, ice cream on a summer's day, yummy corn, rice, banana, apple, chocolate........there is great pleasure in food, and I want her to know that.

1 more week.....